It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken

What an amazing little book! It is the cold hard facts of the end of a relationship. It boils down to: He ended it. It is over. Get over it.

Profound

The truth is, when you are still stuck in rationalizing mode (something I should get a medal in!) you think about the words spoken, the past, all the good things, how he seems so sad, blah blah blah...when the ACTIONS are the truth! It gets a little confusing when his actions start to be a bit toward the "I miss you" side of things, especially if he says those words too...

But the aftermath actions are not really the truth either...The break up is the truth. If he wanted to be with me, he would be. Period.

So I was reading the gem of a book and thought, I wish this catered a bit to when you break up and have children, because I can't follow such sound advice as: Don't see him or talk to him for 60 days. Or, don't call him and if he calls you don't answer.

Wouldn't that make things easier?

But I have never been one to do things the easy way, why start now? =P

And I was thinking, but we really WERE awesome together, and happy and all that...

So, I decided, I want to write in with MY story, and MY question and see what advice is given...I started writing, from the very beginning. Now, as I am writing this I am not angry, sad, or anything really, I am not discussing his words and promises in detail, just that he made, and then broke them. I am simply relaying the facts...

So I read this awesome letter and I realize what an idiot I am!

Not in a bad way, in a "love fool" kind of way...Because when you take the emotion out of it, and take all his charm and sweetness out of it, you are left with cold hard facts and I look like the biggest moron on the planet.

Am I doing the right thing? Hell yes!

Is he the one? Um, a big resounding NO!

Am I throwing away something that could possibly be saved? In the words of the author of "It's Called a Breakup": Hey Superfox! You are not the one who threw it away! Now, don't throw your life away pining for some guy who doesn't want to be with awesome wonderful you! Your life is waiting, and so is that guy who DOES want to be with fabulous you! Get to it!

Seriously, he talks like that, it's awesome! And I have a strong feeling those would have been his exact words to me, had I sent my letter.

There is also a section in the book, before it talks about the Breakover (as in makeover) where it lets you have one last pity party, complete with PJs, sad music, cookiedough, and some serious moping and pining.

But I don't feel like moping and pining anymore. (I could go for the cookiedough, Pjs,and some spiffy music though)

The truth is, my marriage was over 2 years ago when Drew decided he wanted to be with someone other than me. There have been some wonderful times since then, I am not saying there hasn't been, but we were on borrowed time. It is sad, but it is true.

I've done enough pining and moping.

I've done enough wondering, wishing it could all be undone, "what if'ing and "if only"ing...

I'm done.

So, it is harder to have to see and talk to him alot. But I can do this, I am doing this. I have never been very graceful with breakups, this is actually the most calm and sane I have been during a breakup, ever. I'm kinda proud of myself. Maybe the next time someone breaks up with me I'll smile and say "Thanks!" Because it just brings me one step closer to "The One". Ok, maybe not, but how funny would that be!?

There is one little scary thing that bothers me...there is no way to know if or when a relationship will end. You can THINK you know, but you never really do. This will always scare me a little...but, only a little because I know, even if it does end, even if I think "he's the one" and he turns out not to be...

I WILL BE OK!

Ok...two little scary things...I am a little afraid that there is no such thing as "The One". I will deal with this fear at a later time though, since right now I am riding high on my "I am OK" thing.