I am writing. I am writing for the first time in 3 weeks. That is the longest I have ever gone. It is almost painful. I've been so severely blocked it isn't even funny. Worse than writer's block, it feels as if it has been a life block. Thoughts just have not been coming to me. I try to think, try to deal with things, try to plan even (something I am awesome at!) and...nothing. Zilch. Nada.
It is so frustrating. Which of course, makes it worse.
I was so excited about the month of August. It felt vibrant, exciting, passionate, fiery. Orange and red. Full of positive change. Full of doing.
And I've done pretty much nothing. Not even my "productive" nothing, where I dream and plan. No dreams here. Plans begin then sputter.
Has my fire gone out?
That isn't it either. It is blocked, just like everything else. I just can't figure out why. I've given up on that. I always tell my friends that it is ok to take some time and just exist. It is ok to hide away a bit, to escape reality...but if it doesn't end on its own, there comes a time when you just have to push right on through, kick yourself in the behind, and FIDO! (F*ck It, Drive On).
That is where I am now. This weird feeling isn't going away. But neither is all the stuff I really need to deal with, in life and in my head. Time to barrel through the life block.
Oooh!
I just got an awesome idea for a painting!
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