Kilts, Dating & Good TV

Remember when I said that the Man-Hiatus didn't mean I'd stop talking about love? And also, that I may have the occasional silly little crush?

Well, proof is here.

At the Faire today I saw a lovely man. He drummed his heart out with his Scottish band. Yes, I said Scottish. Yes, he had the accent. And Yes, he wore a kilt. And yes...I was smitten. I even got a picture with him *swoon*

I'm actually really glad that I can still experience fun little butterflies and flutters here and there. Sometimes I worry that my flutter might be broken...

Especially after having a perfectly lovely and relaxing night watching Sex and The City (we are almost finished with the series, then I'll talk about different TV shows...maybe Friends or Charmed next, who knows) and one of the episodes really hits a note...

And not a good note.

I suddenly had a full on freak out about dating. No, I'm not dating now, nor will I be for a while yet, and I am very happy about this still...

But...I will date one day...

And then the nightmare begins.

I am beyond terrified . Guys start out so nice and sweet and wonderful. You think they are amazing, they think you are amazing (Or, if they don't, they pretend they do for some unknown reason). All is well. Everything is just "perfect"...

And then...

BAM! It is over. Done. And they almost always have the final say in the end. That has always been my experience (and that is what happened in this episode)

One day things are good...next day it is all over. And you are left with your head spinning and your heart in pieces...again...OR You hit a rough patch, but promise you'll work through it...and then he changes his mind and leaves before you can even shed the first tear.

So, why would any sane person want to even bother with it all!?

It seems masochistic to me.

But then, if you don't put yourself out there, you may miss out on the one person who doesn't just leave. Still...how much pain and heartbreak is a person expected to go through before finally not being left?

I don't know, I am obviously not at all ready for that type of thing. Because right now, it doesn't seem even remotely worth it.

Give me my gorgeous, drumming, kilted, Scottish man to swoon over from afar...He is safe. The memories stay sweet.

I just really can't see how dating is worth it or even healthy. It is terrifying to know that one day I'll be out there again...putting myself in harm's way again (emotionally speaking).

And here is what I want to know...Does the heartache ever end? Or am I really better off with the kilted fantasy, good books, and good TV? I don't need a man to be happy...But men definitely tend to make me sad. Could someone so completely in love with Love...be better off without it?

Definitely something to ponder. I know some of you may think I am crazy right now...but think about it. If you had to start all over again in the dating world...would you? Or would you cut your losses and pursue other ways to be happy?

Still...that Scottish guy...so dreamy.