I've been talking about it for a while now, and I have finally started sessions up with my therapist from years ago. She really helped me before, and I know she will help me now. The thing about her is, she doesn't feel the need to be my friend. She is very nice of course, but she calls me on my BS. And we all know I am quite good with the rationalizations and such. SO it is a good thing. I've been feeling as if I am banging my head against a brick wall. I know the changes I want to make. I know, theoretically, how to go about it...but somehow a piece of the puzzle has been missing. Also, things like fear of love and super insecurity, I really have no idea how to go about healing. Now I have help. Very good, very expensive help. I am having to ration my sessions to make sure I can afford it. She is worth every penny. I just wish they were not quite so many pennies...
Regardless, It feels very good to know that I don't have to figure this out on my own. It is ok to ask for help when you really need it. I also feel good knowing that I finally asked for help, not when I was down in the pit of doom and feeling utterly irrational about everything. I asked for help when I was feeling ok, but knew I need a little extra help. It made me feel in control of my decisions, and my life.
It does feel strange to be back in therapy though. It has been about 10 years since I worked with a therapist. These last few years have been especially crazy and full of change. I've definitely been overdue.
I think it takes a lot of courage to step out and get some extra help like this. I've been with Dr. L since I moved to Chicago. Now that I am in Iowa I am doing phone sessions. Chris is getting "extra help" too. I think its admirable when people do this because so many do not and they really need to. They deserve it but for whatever reason they won't seek it.
ReplyDeleteJenn, you are so right. It is very hard for people to ask for help, or even admit they need it. I have a feeling it has as much to do with fear of admitting you need help as it does fear of actually getting better. I feel so good about taking this step. I wanted to be "strong" and do it on my own, but there are therapists for a reason. =)
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