Emotional Spring Cleaning

I've been feeling a lot better. The anxiety is pretty much non existent. The anger only pops up here and there and isn't all that bad. The sadness is the same way - only sometimes, and totally manageable. I feel calm, and if not always centered, pretty close to it.

I've really started to realize that many of our emotions (anger, anxiety, fear) are in place to protect us. The dangerous part is when we forget to deal with issues and we become so wrapped up in the protective shield, we change...and not for the better.
Sometimes I am angry. But I am not consumed by it. Sometimes I am anxious, but it doesn't cause panic attacks like it did before. Sometimes I am sad, but it doesn't bring me to my knees.

I still have a few things I need to deal with. One of which is the Love Fear. That one is probably going to take a little more time, but I know I will get through it. No rush at all. That makes it easier, but it still worries me just a little. It is a tricky one. I am afraid of a great many things, and now I can add one more to my list...I am afraid of Love. How did that happen? Have I always been afraid of it? Is everyone afraid of it? How do I deal with this one? I don't have the answers yet, but I will. I don't want my fears to rule me anymore. Nor do I want my fears, the Love Fear especially, to lead me to bad decisions. Safe (settling) romance, or none at all...I deserve better than that. But anyone I end up dating deserves not to be vomited on because I get a case of nerves! Haha! Though, that sure would make for a funny blog post: I saw, I dated, I vomited!
All the more reason why my Love Break is an excellent idea! I still have 10 months to figure all that Love stuff out. Phew. What a relief!

So, aside from the newly discovered fear, I have been feeling more and more like myself. In fact, as I am getting closer to feeling "normal" again, I am realizing how far from myself I really was. These past few years have been crazy, the past months even crazier, and I've been in survival mode for so long...
It feels so good to be me again. Refreshing. Light. A lot like Spring.

Funny how the simple act of purchasing a new body wash & cleanser can make a girl feel like herself again.