Solitude and Soulmates

I suppose these two subjects are completely opposite from each other...I guess I like the contrast =P

As was pretty evident from my last post, I have been dealing with loneliness. Such an awful feeling. But it is slowly going away and turning into solitude, which to some it just the same as being lonely, but not to me. I like solitude. It is quiet, calm, peaceful, centered...

A while back I posted about being single and some dreams I have just for Patrick & I. These things are exciting me again.

I have been doing an insane amount of soul-searching, reading, discovering.

I read something about soul mates recently that really got me thinking. It said that there are roughly 100,000 possible soul mates for every person. The article went on to explain that these potentials are sometimes "not right" due to timing, already being committed to one of their potentials, life lessons, geography, etc. Interesting. I'm not sure I buy into this theory, but some of it did make sense. I mean it seems like a risky game having only 1 person in all the world who could possibly match up with you. And what about people who have a beloved spouse pass away, then later meet someone else who they connect with and love...And what about all the people who we meet who touch us in a very profound and unforgettable ways?

So of these 100,000 potentials, many are probably not soulmates in the romantic sense, but still resonate with us on a deep level. And many could be romantic soulmates but something is off with the timing...So are they even soulmates at all then?

This leads back to the whole "The One" issue...if you have 100,000 potential soulmates, wouldn't the person you end up with be "the one" and then wouldn't it mean that that one person was actually your soulmate?

Daunting.

I feel like the prince in "Ever After" when he is talking to DaVinci.

I am thinking this is where faith comes in. It doesn't really matter if there are 100,000 potentials, or just one in all the world...the whole point is to believe that "the one" not only exists, but will come along...perhaps even in a timely fashion.

I also read that yearning a little is ok and to embrace it. Because yearning is almost like a call from your soul to theirs. Kinda romantic in a weird new-agey way.

Anyway...Back to my solitude.

I'm thinking of painting a picture of it. But, since all my painting supplies are packed up somewhere...I am going to do something I have not done since before I got pregnant...I am going to write a poem. I'm always nervous about sharing my poetry. But, well, here goes...

My Solitude

It is like a garden at midnight.

It smells like night jasmine and feels like a soft blanket and a gentle breeze.

It sounds like a waterfall and the wind in the trees.

And it twinkles like the stars in the sky.

And it glows soft like moonlight.

It wraps me up in comfort and peace

It hold me close as the storm in my mind begins to ease.

It soothes.

It beckons.

It lures me to sit

Quietly.

In a garden at midnight.