The Photos

There is nothing like a fun weekend with great friends, to help you realize that everything really is going to be ok, no matter what.

I also tend to come back from my weekends with Crys & Rog, feeling refreshed and inspired. A whole lot of girl chats till 3am or later (earlier?), laughing, and hot cocoa & brownies can do that =)

My inspiration has taken an unexpected turn this time though. We found some old photos. Photos from their wedding. I was around 140ish pounds...so that already had me going..."Man, I so need to lose weight!"

But then there were these 3 photos I had never seen before, and it became about more than just weight loss.

I looked...so spunky and carefree and upbeat and adorable!

I want to look like that again!

Lately I feel drained most of the time. Drained, tired, and old. And fat. Very very fat.

I have to do something about this.

I have to change it.

I cannot bear looking at another picture of myself, the size that I am right now.

Those pictures from the past are so very cute. And while I may not be able to look just like that again (it was 8 years ago, after all) I can certainly look a hell of a lot better than I do now.

And honestly, sometimes I don't think I look that horrible now (except in most photos). I mean, yes, I need to lose quite a bit of weight...but I'm not grotesque or anything...

But, I want to look more like I did then.

I didn't even appreciate it then...I sure would now though!

I am really proud of how far I have come, emotionally. And how awesome my outlook is in most cases. But when it comes to myself, especially looks, age, and laziness level...my attitude needs serious adjustment. So, enough talk. Enough wishing and wishing and not getting off of my butt and DOING!

It is past time I do something about my weight, my health, my energy level, and my attitude of "old and tired".

One day soon I am going to look back at those pictures and smile and say "Yeah, I was pretty cute then...but now...I am absolutely dazzling!"

Because, a big happy smile plastered on a youthful face and attached to an awesome little body is one thing, but a big happy smile on the face of a woman who is truly pleased with herself, her life, and just comfortable in her own skin...is something else all together.

I want to be that woman... I am going to be that woman.