A Shift

It is only recently that I have begun to realize how far from myself I have strayed over the last few years (decades?) It is insidious. It happens so slowly you don't even see the tiny changes. To go from a fearless little spitfire of a girl to a woman to lives her life in fear and has lost her voice...it is just sad. I can even count off a few major events in my life that probably contributed to the change. But even with those things, you don't see the change happening when you are in the middle of something and trying to deal.

So why is it I am now waking up to all of it? Who knows, but thank God I am!

Unfortunately just like the slow change that happened to take you away from yourself, changing back does not happen over night. Not only that, it is so much harder! It takes constant effort and will. No, not will...WANT!

But I am already noticing a shift.
I misread something on a friend's FB. She has been a bit down on herself lately, so I thought the post she made was about herself, and decided to make her feel better. Turns out she was talking about someone else and was kinda appalled at their behavior. Whoops! I laughed it off. Normally something like this would get me obsessing and wondering if everyone thinks I am a complete idiot, or even if my friend might be mad at me. This time though, I really did laugh it off. I really didn't worry. Everyone misreads something now and then. No biggie.

This is some serious progress!