Untamed

"Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with."

This is the last line of season 2 of Sex and The City.

And it really struck a chord.

Really, that whole episode did.

The last few episodes involve Carrie trying to come to terms with her ex, the love of her life, having someone new. In the last episode she finds out he is engaged. She spent two years with him and he didn't commit. He'd only been with the new woman for a few months.

She asks him why. "Why wasn't it me?"

He basically tells her that she was too complicated and it was too hard.

Yes, I can relate to that very much.

That is the story of the end of 90% of my relationships.

When I was a teenager I used to wonder why guys couldn't stay in love with me, what was wrong with me? I really had no idea what Love was. In my twenties I wondered the same thing, but also started to wonder if maybe I was picking the wrong guys. Now...

Now I know the answer to all of these questions. Guys don't stay in love with me because I am much more complicated than the first glimpse they tend to fall in love with. There isn't really anything wrong with me (or with them), but I am a bit difficult. And yes, I have been picking the wrong guys.

Guys that scare too easily. Give up too easily. Give in too easily. Think Love is supposed to be easy...I'm not the right woman for that.

Love is hard, but worth it. I am too complicated...But I am worth it too. And I know that someday, I'll meet a man who knows it...and loves complicated.

For now though, I am happy just running free.